WELCOME TO YOUR ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENTIf you have just innocently found your way to this attitude adjustment page you're forgiven, but if you came from Happy Spirit, then I am extremely cross with you!! You need an attitude adjustment, pronto! Excuse me while I inhale slowly..........feeling the positive energy fiiiill my body........and now exhhhhaaaaaling away the negative...(Whispers) That's better.....Now children, forgive me for my momentary loss of control while the smoke was billowing from my ears. For just an instant I forgot most of you are in a state of total ignorance (read on before you take offence!). If you recall, at the top of the happy spirit page, I asked anybody who is a bit special, or a bit beautiful, or in any way an OOO (Out Of the Ordinary) to leave. Why, then, did you continue to loiter on a page which you had specifically been asked to vacate? Could it possibly be that you do not consider yourself a bit special? Well then, if that is the case, welcome to your attitude adjustment! Dudes, we are ALL special. We are unique human beings. Of the seven million people currently online, you are unique. There is not one other person like you in this whole universe! Of the four million people currently reading this page(!), you are the only one with your special set of qualities! Of the six billion or so people roaming this globe, you are the select person with your style, your strengths, your soul, your fingerprints! YOU ARE SO SPECIAL YOU CAN NEVER BE DUPLICATED! Think about that! Scientists have achieved amazing breakthroughs in the last century, including Dolly, the cloned sheep. Heck! I'm still incredulous about us going to the moon! (Bit slow on the uptake). And computers still blow me away! But have scientists been able to reproduce the human soul? Nup. Nein. Non. (Why are french accents always italicised?) Nah. Mm Mm! Not. That, mon ami is just how special you are! Of all the six billion of us here on earth, there is a special place for you. Yes, you! Even if you're only still reading this because you're filling in time while you make that all- important 'muffin or the chips' decision! And when you finally do leave us and take up your possie on the couch for the Seinfeld reruns, you'll STILL be special, beautiful, and a certified OOO. Even your horrible fat neighbour who keeps your kids' balls and has smelly cooking is special - I promise. Now repeat after me - "I am unique. I am special. I am beautiful. I am Out Of the Ordinary." Now, once more with feeling, "I am unique. I am special. I am beautiful. I am Out Of the Ordinary." "I am unique. I am special. I am beautiful. I am Out Of the Ordinary."
"I am unique. I am special. I am beautiful. I am Out Of the Ordinary." If you are still not getting this, please copy this paragraph and carry it around with you, repeating it to yourself until you believe it. For those of you a bit quicker on the uptake - well done!! You have finally realized just how special you are.
So, doesn't someone as unique as you deserve the best life you can give yourself?
If you haven't already, isn't it time you discovered your own special place in the world? Isn't NOW a good time to share the great stuff inside you (technical term!) with the rest of the world? If you answered 'no' to any of the three preceding questions, you will find yourself unable to leave this page. We have locked all the doors and they will remain so until your attitude adjustment is complete. To complete your attitude adjustment, simply continue to read and re-read this page until you absorb the knowledge herein.
Once you have taken the
above paragraph to heart, answered 'yes' to the specified questions and are ready to wear the T-shirt, the doors will unlock
and you will be permitted to integrate with the global population. Your Happy Life will be attainable ONLY upon integration of this knowledge.
|
